Wanted Dead And Alive

This is a parody of “Wanted Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi based on Schrödinger’s cat. In this post, I’ll give the output before the input.

[Verse 1:] I'm in a box, no way to run or hide / A radioactive game that's wastin' my life / A little decay and I might meet my fate / A deadly gas that I just can't escape
[Chorus:] I'm Schrödinger's cat / In a state both dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive
[Verse 2:] I wait in fear, not knowin' what's to come / If I'll live or die, it's just a waiting game / The scientists ponder, watchin' every move / But I'm the one who's trapped and feeling blue
[Chorus:] I'm Schrödinger's cat / In a state both dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive
[Post-Chorus:] In this steel chamber, I just can't survive
[Guitar Solo]
[Chorus:] I'm Schrödinger's cat / In a state both dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive
[Verse 3:] I'm just a pawn, in this quantum affair / My fate unknown, no one really cares / The waves are smeared, my future in doubt / I'm just a cat, livin' in and out
[Chorus:] I'm Schrödinger's cat / In a state both dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead and alive
[Outro:] Dead and alive / Dead and alive / Dead and alive / Dead and alive.

Now the input. As you can see, it took some work and detail for this result.

Schrödinger described his now-famous “Schrödinger’s cat” thought experiment thusly:

A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small, that perhaps in the course of the hour one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The first atomic decay would have poisoned it. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the living and dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts.

That is, according to the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics, the cat would be both alive and dead until the chamber (commonly called a “box”) is opened and he is observed, collapsing his quantum wavefunction. This is intended to show that this interpretation of quantum mechanics is absurd.

The lyrics to “Wanted Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi run as follows:

[Verse 1:] It's all the same, only the names will change / Every day it seems we're wastin' away / Another place where the faces are so cold / I'd drive all night just to get back home
[Chorus:] I'm a cowboy / On a steel horse I ride / I'm wanted dead or alive / Wanted dead or alive
[Verse 2:] / Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days / The people I meet always go their separate ways / Sometimes you tell the day by the bottle that you drink / And times when you're alone, well, all you do is think
[Chorus:] I'm a cowboy / On a steel horse I ride / I'm wanted (Wanted) dead or alive / Wanted (Wanted) dead or alive
[Post-Chorus:] Oh, and I ride
[Guitar Solo]
[Chorus:] Ooh, I'm a cowboy / On a steel horse I ride / I'm wanted (Wanted) dead or alive
[Verse 3:] But I walk these streets, a loaded six-string on my back / I play for keeps 'cause I might not make it back / I've been everywhere, (Oh yeah) still I'm standin' tall / I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all
[Chorus:] 'Cause I'm a cowboy / On a steel horse, I ride / I'm wanted (Wanted) dead or alive / And I'm a cowboy / I got the night on my side / And I'm wanted (Wanted) dead or alive
[Outro:] And I ride (And I ride), dead or alive / I still drive (Still drive), dead or alive / Dead or alive / Dead or alive / Dead or alive / Dead or alive

Write a parody of these lyrics, titled “Wanted Dead and Alive”, about the Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment. The lyrics should be written from the point-of-view of the cat, who is wanted (Wanted) both “dead and alive” due to the conditions in the quantum physics thought experiment, according to which he is in both of these states until he is observed. Keep the original song’s structure: Verse 1, Chorus, Verse 2, Chorus, Post-Chorus, Guitar Solo, Chorus, Verse 3, Chorus, Outro.

I originally posted this on Facebook.